Rumoured Apple iTunes exclusive re-release of The Force Awakens uses unique product placement to further explain confusing plot point

Updated: May 6, 2016


One of the most confusing plot points in The Force Awakens is rumoured to be getting further clarified, thanks to what would be a first-of-its-kind motion-picture product-placement deal with Apple & their iTunes digital market place.

Many fans of The Force Awakens mistake R2-D2’s sudden awakening at the film’s conclusion as due to the beloved droid’s reaction to the Force powerful Rey, or perhaps it was due to BB-8’s solemn yet adorable plea?

For all fans knew, he just needed some emotional support. He wouldn’t have been amongst the first characters in the hit film to very obviously really need a hug but instead were left to go solo when they were chewing on a lot of pain.

According to rumours, the fan theory Apple is hoping to capitalise on is that, after years of adventure and information input, R2 needed time to “process” the immense amount of data he’d compiled over the years, in a hope to find Luke Skywalker. Online, fans maintain that George Lucas foreshadowed this need to “defrag” to prevent memory loss as far back as 1980’s The Empire Strikes Back. “R2 forgetting to use his jets to avoid the perils of the Dagobah swamp was a genius move to tie in to the then-untitled 7th film in the saga” one message board user exclaimed. Another added “by Jedi, when R2 still hadn’t told Luke about the time his father made his mother tap out to the no-handed Force Choke, I knew George was setting something up about the droid’s computing power.”

On the upcoming iTunes exclusive re-release of the just-released film, the digital wizards at ILM will add the iconic Apple Spinning Wheel Of Death™ to R2-D2’s eye-piece, in what test audiences have said brings “some real desperation” and feelings that “all hope is lost” that R2 will ever function correctly again. A well-placed source outside an Apple Store stated “The only thing most Star Wars fans adore more than R2-D2 is their Apple products. The Apple Spinning Wheel Of Death™ is a sign known the world over that your own “little droid” is letting you know it’s time to take a break from your personal computing, whether it be for just 5 seconds or in many cases, until Mustafar freezes over.”

The source elaborates; “By simply adding this genius piece of product placement, audiences instantly know R2’s predicament and emotionally buy into the scene. That little rainbow circle really conjures up some dark feelings.”

One Disney executive got so caught up at a test screening for the scene enhancement that he unknowingly bellowed out a heartfelt Darth Vader-esque “Noooooo!” and, upon later questioning, would state that he’d never even seen Revenge Of The Sith.

Sources have hinted that perhaps maybe someone overheard this guy, that could have been Disney chairman Bob Iger, state that when Chief Executive Officer of Apple Inc and huge Star Wars fan Tim Cook reached out to him with the product tie-in idea he was “more blown away than Alderaan”.

Industry insiders, privy to the details of the deal, estimate the chances of this concept not being a win-win for both the Northern Californian based brands at around 3,720 to 1.

If this co-branded storytelling device does work as predicted, Disney & Apple hope to further enhance other Star Wars moments, including the addition of the Mac startup sound when Anakin turns Threepio on for Padme, and the addition of the iPhone camera shutter-sound effect each time Wicket the Ewok blinks in that definitely not creepy way.